I have an older brother, Nigel, and a younger brother, Francis.
And I love them both.
Growing up with them wasn't easy, being the middle child. I was very much a middle child with the middle child syndrome (click HERE if you don't know what this is, or HERE for a simpler version). Which middle child wouldn't? Whenever a fight between I and Nigel broke out, my parents would say 'listen to your older brother, he's the oldest, he knows better'. And whenever i had a fight with Francis, my parent would say 'give your younger brother a chance, he's the youngest and is ignorant'. I would regularly feel isolated and unloved, because of the disparity i felt between the treatment i got compared to my brothers.
Now it is quite different. I actually feel quite privilledged to have grown up as a middle child.
I am both a younger brother, and an older brother.
I used to think Nigel never understood my feelings as a younger brother whenever he tried to teach me things. I often felt that he was trying to control my life. And now when I try to teach Francis some wisdoms of life, I often get hit with the realization of how much Nigel actually loved and cared for me then, to be wanting the best for me, sharing his gems of experience etc. And I grow more thankful everyday.
Similarly, knowing how I felt as a younger brother has allowed me to be able to tap into Francis current feelings as a younger brother, and I would constantly reflect back on how I would've felt if I as an older brother did certain things, like scolding him or ordering him about just because I am older. And whenever I tell Francis 'I know how you feel, i've been in your shoes', he can actually believe me, because i really have.
Guess life is how you want it to be huh? If you choose to see the bad side of things ( i.e. the middle child syndrome), life can be miserable; if you choose to see the good, life can be quite enriching and rewarding!
=)
4 comments:
funny... with our family it's the other way around. my second older brother (aka the middle child) seems to the be favorite of my mother's. it's like me and my oldest brother never existed. but meh... i guess my second brother might view it differently... i suppose no matter which position you're in, the negatives will seem so much more highlighted than the positives.
"Guess life is how you want it to be huh?"
I think it's true, though sometimes it's a bit out of hand, but maybe if look from another perspective, things arent as bad as we thought it that way.
You reminded me of how I should take my elder siblings' words...thanks!!
Mia.B: It's a choice we make MiaB, whether to let the positives or negatives stand out. I'm still in the process of learning to view things positively. Heard of the song 'ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE'? =) I love that song.
Mic: Glad my blog did some good! =). Thanks for visiting.
I like this post, it makes so much sense to me even I have never been in your shoes.
I am glad you understand that things do have its good and bad sides, it depends on which side you are going to focus on. Naturally people are more concerned on the bad side and are just trying to avoid or eliminate it. But people seldom think about enhancing the good side and work on it.
Anyway, keep it up dude!
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