It struck me, how ignorant most of us are about death. We tend to pretend the word doesn't exist, especially when we're still fit and healthy, or even when we're not so healthy.
Yet in hospital, medical staff have to deal with death at such a regular basis.
I don't think anyone ever gets used to seeing death. Much less doctors, who have the unfortunate task of being the one certifying someone's death and having to carry the burden of informing relatives about the death of their loved one.
I personally have tagged along with a doctor to certify the death of a patient. It was 2 years ago when it happened, but I still remember it like it happened yesterday. I'll try to give a first hand and honest account of what happened:
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"The intern (first year medical graduate) and I walked into the room. The patient was lying peacefully on his bed. The wife and son (in his mid 30s) sat by his side. The wife was holding his hand, learning her chin onto his chest, eyes staring at his peaceful face. There were 3 nurses in the room, but they were unusually quiet. Pin-drop silence.
We walked to the bedside, and I stood silently too, while the intern politely asked the wife for permission to examine the patient. She nodded, and reluctantly moved away for the intern to examine him, yet her hand was still holding on tight to him. The intern examined his heart, and eyes. She stepped back, and took a deep breath.
Silence.
The intern opened her mouth, but no words came out.
Silence.
Finally, the intern spoke.
"I'm sorry Mrs _____, we have tried our best. There is nothing else we can do."
Silence again.
Then it all happened at once. The wife weeped. And weeped.
"Don't leave me, you promised that you will never leave me!! I love you so much! We still have so many things to do together!!" ....*cries*....."(speaks Italian)..."....*cries*...."I LOVE YOU!!! I LOVE YOU!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!"
The son weeps.
2 nurses weep too. The eldest nurse tried to hold on, but eventually turned her back and sobbed in silence, her face hidden from sight.
I looked at the intern. She was strong. She had an empathic look on her face, but no tears. I said to myself, Jazzi, you must be strong too. You will be a doctor, and you will need to be a pillar of support for the relatives of the deceased, as well as the medical staff here.
The intern asked the wife and son if they needed time alone with the patient. They said yes, and we left the room, promising to be there whenever they needed us.
I went to the restroom. And tears couldn't be held back anymore. They overflowed."
(I later found out that the intern weeped at home that night. It was her 2nd certification of death that week)
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I dread the day when I'll be the one certifying my patient's death. But I must be strong, I must be strong.
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I think a picture paints a thousand words. Here are some pictures, just to give us all a perspective on death of a loved one.
Here are some more light hearted cartoons just so we don't leave this blog ending on a sad note....
5 comments:
That is why... unimaginable.
Once recently, God blessed uncle James's wife on miracle.
Saying... humerously.
[QUOTE]
"Somebody will cry ..."
me still remember clearly, found it humerous as everybody, thinking of what deeply meant?.
if not..this God has done.
Thank God!
why I said that,recently I went to their house, 'realize' that... this is how is goes.
[the scene]
- wife came back.
Husband said (James):"
You got bring back the newspaper?"
- Wife said :"forgoten..."
- husband cheerfully smiling away and humerously said :"harr..you forgoten, you forgoten me or not 'BUTTERCUP'!"
i was thinking amusingly :"BUTTERCUP"??? at this age. Lovely!! hehehe
(Personally I find this very...wonderful & delight!
or something if u get what i mean)
appreciation of a precious one! har
NE!!!
:(
when the doc told me that my mom was beyond any medical help 2 weeks ago... he was calm, but i can sense his helpless feeling. i thank him, and he walked away.
i guess doctors are really an elite group of ppl...they have to do this on a regular basis.
one thing though... those nurses were having a chat as though they are having a party while me and my family wept next to my dying mom in the ICU... incredible.
i must admit that this is the hardest part about being a doctor. it's not a skill that you can up or get used to.
but then, if you say you're used to it, and you feel no fear or sadness because you have had to do it so many times, then it may be your time to move on to something else.
i think it's dangerous to lose your passion and compassion towards patients/people as a doctor.
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