Regrets

I have been reading Richard Branson's autobiography named 'Losing my Virginity'. For those who don't know who Richard Branson is, he's the founder of the Virgin brand. I'm only 1/10 into the book, but already i'm hooked. His life story is so interesting! Always full of adventure, full of challenges, and he is constantly living life to the fullest, and never allows fear to cripple him! Amazing!

I think I am inspired. My life thus far has hardly lived up to its expectations. I used to think that I have lived life to the fullest, striving to be the best I can be in all areas of my life, be it studies, relationship, health, work, social, sports, music, art etc etc....but it seems I haven't been trying hard enough.

That's it, my life resolution is to always push my limits and confront my fears.

New motto for DrJazzi: NO REGRETS!

Being one and only

Sometimes it's hard being unique. The society just doesn't allow breathing space for such people. It cries out of 'conform, or risk being snuffed out'.

I hate being suffocated.

Guess I'll just have to learn to breathe without air.

Bring it on.

Meaningless conversations

Have you ever felt that you were engaged in a meaningless conversation?

I have been feeling a lot of that recently. Perhaps it is because I have changed. And sometimes I wonder whether I have changed for the better or worse.

Nowadays I find a lot of conversations meaningless because they tend to focus too much on too little a detail. I find it particularly frustrating especially when people in the conversations are so focused on proving their point that they don't even bother to really sit back and take a little time to digest what the other party is trying to say before conjuring up a response. I mean, what are conversations really all about? Shouldn't it be about meaningful interaction between people? If we are so focused on making our voice heard, is that really meaningful interaction?

I wonder.

Give it a try. During a conversation, before your tongue starts going on like a runaway train, pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what you are really trying to achieve by saying the things you are about to say. Also ask yourself whether you have really understood what the other party was trying to convey to you.

It works wonders when you give it a try. Brings out a whole new meaning to conversations.

First Do No Harm

Medicine is getting more and more out of touch with the real society. In my night shifts in Boxhill Hospital, I have witnessed many decisions being made without first considering the most basic rule of medicine: FIRST DO NO HARM.

Old patients are the ones who suffer the most, they are often very misunderstood, and treated all alike: If a patient looks confused, sounds a bit confused, then just give him/her some anti-psychotic medication, or a anti-anxiety medication. If that doesn't work and patient becomes aggressive, just restrain him/her to bed.

I find this practise very disturbing. There are always good justifications for their actions. "The patient refuses to cooperate", "The patient is disturbing all the other patients", "The patient is at risk of absconding", "I have too many patients to look after, I can't be spending 30-60 minutes just trying to calm him down". The list goes on.

I absolutely refuse to conform to these practices unless it is the last resort. Many a times I have managed to calm these patients down just by listening to them, acknowledging their pain and suffering and loneliness, and then negotiating a win-win deal with them.

Maybe it's my turn to start a trend. A retro trend in fact, one that reminds every health worker to FIRST DO NO HARM.

Wish me luck.

Macro vs Micro

A friend named Yi Qiu sent me a long message on Facebook, she painstakingly explained the whole process of macrocosmic vs microcosmic attitudes to life. Summarising these 2 concepts would be an analogy like this:

Are you the ant, or King Kong? Are you one that works better with the little details, or one that sees the big picture?

I believe macro vs microcosmic attitudes are two extremes of a continuum, most of us are a complex mixture of both attitudes. Some just have a tendency to sway heavily in favour of either side.

I believe I certainly am more of a macrocosmic person. Often I find myself taking a step back from everything, and think about the bigger picture. Oddly, seeing the macrocosmic picture helps me align the microcosmic part of things. For example, by pausing and thinking what I want to achieve in my future (the bigger picture), I am able to work out the things I need to do on a daily/weekly basis in order to help me get to where I want to be.

Having said that, I truly respect the people who are microcosmically oriented. These are like the lubricant that keeps engines going. In *my work setting, nurses are great microcosmic people. They are able to pay attention to all the details, and iron out all the mistakes I make unintentionally. Not to mention the TLC (tender loving care) they are able to provide patients. I've made an effort to learn from them, like giving that much needed smile and love to patients who have been suffering in hospital, offering a reassuring squeeze to the palms of these patients.

That I believe keeps me in balance, so I do not forget to keep in touch with the little things that matter.

So have you worked out whether you are more macrocosmic or microcosmically oriented yet?

Leadership

Some people are born leaders; others are made.

I've never thought of myself as anything less than a leader. In everything I did, I would always strive for the best, because only the best deserves to be the leader. After all, that's why they LEAD in the things they do right?

I could not be so wrong.

Leadership has taken on a new meaning to me. Sometimes leadership is not about the 'no-one-can-do-it-better-than-me' attitude, it's not about having to show everyone the best way to do things.

Leadership is about bringing out the best in people, bringing out the leader from within them. It's about being able to know who's the best person suited for the task, and letting him run the show. It's about standing behind the scenes, allowing those you lead to shine in your place.

Most importantly, leadership is about following. Following what your heart tells you is best for the people you lead.

Who am I

Dear Dr. Jason Goh of the future,

Have you manged to figure out who you truly are yet? Because at the moment I am really struggling to find peace with who I truly am. It seems I am divided into pieces; not really able to figure out who I am and what I really stand for. I vaguely know what I want in life, that is to live a life pleasing to God, and to benefit as many people as possible in the process, and I have already made up my mind to create the Maternal and Child Health Service in Malaysia, but...is that it? Is that all there is within me? Am I limited to just helping the kids of Malaysia? What about the people who are waiting for me to inspire them to go on and do greater things? The people who are asking for a leader to show them how it's done? Have you, dear future me, figured out the way to do it yet? How many people have you inspired so far? How many lives have you touched?

Please reply me ASAP, I look forward to your reply.

Cheers,

Dr. Jason Goh of the present.